If you cleaned up the colors and lineart and fixed the bg this would be much better. It's cute, I like it, but if you work on it a bit more it would be so much more. Please do consider it.

Uhmm, its very clean and nicely done but there are several anatomy flaws and its never good to start out on the bored with yaoi because its not a porn board so try to draw a few more things befor rushing into what may seem to many as popular demand.

Well the neck is decidedly thicker, the arms a very thin though, they look like sticks (not trying to be mean honey, really) the shoulders are too broad, makes her upper body very awkward. If you make her shoulders smaller, and properly round out the arms (look at your own for reference on how they round out at the shoulder, slowly taper to the elbow, round out at the elbow again, then slowly taper to the wrist) then it would make more sense. And, her thighs from the hip joint to the knee joint would start big and taper thin. As well her hips wouldn't look so small and non-existent (you might want to put more curve there too) And less bosom, it's... a bit much. You have come a long way but you have to practice your anatomy. Get some books, or just look some stuff up online, you'll learn a lot. Cute face, and love those wing hair bands.

too cute :) I like this better than the other versions

Thank you @_@ <3
And, um, her baton/wand is crooked because of one practice where the drum major was spinning his mace and... *ahem* XD
The invisible hair thing is just something seen in anime and I don't know why. I remember being on the phone with my friend back in middle school making fun of the see-though hair in the anime Slayers.
But the reason I left it like that was because I liked how I drew the eye and I didn't want to erase it. ^^;;

looking really good, this one could be in intermediate

This is one rat I wouldn't want to mess with.