falling into an ocean of silver waves
you're drowning and you must be saved...
faces laughing
waves are crashing...
you need to try, you have to plead
as you begin to cry, to bleed...
you scream, you shout, but no one hears
you're drowning in your own worst fears...
so many choices
so many voices...
you're looking for that special thing
and trying out your new born wings...

i don't think i'm finished with it... but what do ya think? :D

*cries* It so beautiful... that's how I feel...always... talk about hitting the nail on the head! ^_^

sorry! um... and thanks! :D

^^ Ok... for what?

for commenting! i didn't think anyone would! ^^"

Nice...use a drift of wood as a medifore to symbolize hope.

Wow! Drift wood thats a good one!

Yea..I am into poetry..I guess.

I think you mean 'metaphor.' I'm not trying to be a jackass or anything, just like seeing things spelt correctly.

edit: while I'm at it, in the poem 'your' should be 'you're.'
p.s. missed one, 2nd line ;)

lol... youre awesome zack! i do poetry too, well kinda. like i wrote one once and it was really good. i ended up getting it published... ^^ i like the poem btw

thanks Zack! :D

I really like it!

I do poetry, well at least I used to , she was a cocktail waitress where I worked a little bit back. :}

thanks again Zack! :D i keep missing them! _{i suck at all kinds of spelling and grammer}

Wow...I really like that. I love poetry. I am going to start writing some! Your poem inspired me!

yay! :D

that's really good. poetry is cool. i've 2 poems published, maybe 3. idk, lol. but that would be a good poem to submit to try to get published. then if it does get published more people could enjoy it.

Some years ago I wrote a poem too, but I never finished it. It is about a land in the far future where people have become grossly deformed and obese.

The Chant of God of Fat

No Food to eat, no water to drink
The corpses' Faeces's what we Feed
Our minds, our souls and our bodies of course
We live our lives eating until the last course

Our greed for Fat has sealed our Fate
We live in misery and eternal pain
Our bloated bodies will end up one day
Dead from diseases and our soul's decay

How can we deny our God's demand?
How can we refuse what He gives to our Land?
God said: "Do not resist the need to Feed,
Eat Or Be Eaten!" and that's what we did...

Unable to move, unable to think
Our bodies emit a horrible stink
To become so gross, you need the right tools:
Our Food is much uglier than our own stools

Through ancient Lore, through blood and gore,
Through eons we worship The Omnipotent Vore
*incomplete*

|XOD|

eew.. lol... um... it's good but... eew... uhhh... whew...

Awesome. that was great Xod andseanemone too. I remember in 1st grade we woudl have to write poems with our first name spelled vertically and each stanza started with a letter of your name.

very good poem, i dont care for poems that much but i know a good one when i see one, and XOD good but a little creepy