Once upon a time there were three pigs. They were owned by a farmer named Mr. Hammock, who enjoyed raising pigs and slaughtering them. He kept the three aformentioned pigs in a sty, as all pigs are kept in. The pigs were of the same size, the same weight, and were basically like any other pig you would find.

One day, Mr. Hammock decided to kill one of the pigs. The first little pig was ground into a fine pork, and was later served to the family as breakfast patties to eat with their pancakes. Mr. Hammock had been up all night killing and grinding up the pig, so he did not have the pleasure to enjoy the patties. Once he awoke, he went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

"Why, it seems I have hair on my chinny-chin-chin." He said to himself. So he shaved. He then continued his routine life as a farmer: shoveling pig manure, mowing the lawn, plowing the field, and aiding the Missus with her laundry. All went fine until he decided to kill another pig. So away he went, and he slaughtered and cut up the next pig. Mr. Hammock and his wife dined on ribs and beer that night, and watched Conan O' Brian for kicks.

The next day when the farmer got up, he had a terrible hangover, and decided he would not be able to work in the fields that day. He called up his farmhand, Leroy Jenkins, and asked him if he could plow the fields that day. Leroy agreed, and arrived in his pickup later that day. Now, Leroy wasn't very bright, but he could operate a tractor fairly well. He mounted the tractor, and began to plow the field, all while listening to his ipod.

Meanwhile, the remaining pig was mourning the lost of its companions, not aware that Leroy was approaching his sty...

"DAMNIT LEROY" Mr. Hammock shouted. Leroy had broken out into an air-guitar induced fit, and forgot he was operating a tractor with a plow. He had ran into the sty, and killed the remaining pig. It was quite a mess. Mr. Hammock was very angry, so angry infact he could not stop huffing and puffing. He huffed and he puffed, and he caused his blood pressure to skyrocket. He had a heart attack, and his wife drove him to the hospital. Now, a normal person would call the ambulance, but since his wife didn't know the number for 911, she drove him.

When they got to the hospital, they discovered that Mr. Hammock was dead. His now widowed wife, broke into a fit and had to be sent to a mental insitution. The farm they owned was sold and demolished, and later that year a small auto mall was built there. Leroy works there now, and sells cars for a living.

The End.

Now that's what I call creative writing.... hilarious.... what a wonderful little bedtime story. I think I bought something from Leroy, as a matter of fact.

I hope Leroy gets more money than anyone on the planet.

That was funny. :P

I try.

You should get this published.

C&C?

LEEROY JENKINS!!!

Yeah, real great imput.

This was last night's bedtime story, I need a new one, please.

Once upon a time there was a deer named Bambi. He had a great family and used to eat clovers, flowers, garbage, basically anything he saw. This made him very fat. One day, a hunter came through the forest, and shot and killed him. He had deer stew and got a nice mount for his fireplace.

The End.

That's a lovely little story, but I'm afraid we'll have to file the card for it under fiction (and sub-classified under short stories) since I never saw a deer eat garbage, or a really fat one, either.

I hope the hunter gets more money than leroy.